Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Hush, little baby...

I just got Ali to sleep. Every night for the past week, Ali gets worked up into a torturous frenzy. Picture a little baby that pinches her little finger or bumps his little head. The child panics and mom hugs the little one and in a few minutes the baby is comforted. Now picture the same child unable to be consoled for hours; screaming and huffing and puffing for six or seven hours every night. It transforms the charming and beautiful Susan into a frazzled wreck. And me, well I'm emotionally drained and collapse physically exhausted into bed every night. I wake up every day wondering if it will get any better.

Will this change or is this going to be my life?

When this first happened to Ali, I had an attitude and posture of forgiveness and reconciliation toward the young man that hurt her. But now, it seems like I have to forgive him all over again several times a day. I ain't got it in me.

I'm motivated to do a study on biblical forgiveness. I've already outlined it. I need to make an adjustment in my thinking. My theology isn't working for me these days. If I follow through with this study, I'll let you know how the Spirit is applying truth to my life.

Please don't stop praying for us.


Anonymous said...

Dear Byron,
Below are the 3 verses the Lord has continuously used in my life in deep, deep trials. Prayers for you and your family for little Ali. God is faithful and will be there for you in everything that you go through. Don't pretend--just be honest with Him and cry on His shoulder. He understands.

"The LORD your God is your midst, A victorious warrior. He will exult over your with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy." Zeph. 3:17

Therefore the LORD longs to be gracious to you, And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the LORD is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him.
Isaiah 30:18

The eternal God is a dwelling place, And underneath are the everlasting arms; And He drove out the enemy from before you, And said "destroy!'
Deut. 33:27

Anonymous said...

You, Susan, and Ali continue to be lifted up in our prayers. Thank you for the continuous updates on the blog, it really helps us to pray more specifically to your present needs and situation as it changes.
Forgiveness is a tough thing.....I am reminded of Luke 17 when Jesus says forgive seven times a day if need be....I guess He knows in our flesh we want to reach out and hurt those who have hurt us and it will take those moments of repeated reconciliation to remain sane and walking in the path of righteousness.
I'm not very good with word pictures, but here is my best's like the zamboni. Ice skates created deep cuts, scrapes, knicks, and chips in the ice. That kind of damage isn't removed by just one pass over the ice. The zamboni circles around, moving back and forth across the particularly damaged spots, backing up, moving forward, stopping and turning yet again to cross the ice before finally creating a surface devoid of the marks. Forgiveness will take more than one visit, we may have to pass over the wound several times, maybe even many before we're ready to go out there and skate again.
With love and prayers,
Marcos and Susan

Bryonm said...

thanks for the verses, lynne.

marcos and susan: that's a good word picture.

Unknown said...

I still pray for you, susan and ali. I'm thankful that you are there for her. I really like Marcos' word picture. Darlene

Anonymous said...

Bryon, I just lost a lengthy comment (that oughta teach me!), most of which consisted of scripture quotations. Rather than type it all, again, I will give you the citations. Please read them, no matter how many times you've read them before, or how well you might know them by heart!

Isaiah 40:28-29,31; 41:10,13; 43:1-3a.

Do you have contacts up there, yet, who can help you find respite care? You and Susan are going to need it.

That does not mean I'm going to stop praying for you; I'm not gonna do that.

My gone-forever comment also contained a confession: I don't forgive easily or well, either. I don't have it in me. But whatever the task--forgiveness or anything else--that makes me feel inadequate, I have to remember: I really am inadequate! But we serve a Lord who said, "My strength is made perfect in your weakness," and if that doesn't extend to forgiveness, I'm in real trouble.

God bless you guys and give you rest.

Anonymous said...

I listened to Ed Dobson guest preaching at Mars Hill (Rob Bell) this morning on the way into work. I found it intersting and feel it worthwile to listen again and take notes.

I dunno if this will help you or not, but here's the link to it at iTunes:

Praying for you Bro.

Unknown said...

I pray many times a day for you all. I can't say I know what you're going through, but He does, and He knows exactly how to bring comfort and peace to you guys. Since we're all being honest here, It's hard for me to forgive as well, one person in particular I struggle with constantly. I pray Ali doesn't grow up with the same struggle to forgive her birth father. She's so blessed to have you and Susan there for her. I pray your faith and strength are renewed daily!


Kushmama said...

my heart aches for you and Susan...i encourage you, as you study to read CS Lewis, Mere Christianity, the chapter on forgiveness. in the mean time, know we're praying that God will sustain your family through this.

Anonymous said...

We have never stopped praying for you all. During those long difficult nights try and let yourself feel us there with you, taking some of this are truly not alone.
Pam and Ron figoras

Bryonm said...

thanks for praying and for the encouragement darlene & vicki. pete, i'll try to give that a listen...
liz, i pray the same thing... i want to set the proper example for ali... bethany, i need to re-read mere christianity; it's been a few years. right now i'm working through phillip yancey's "where is God when it hurts?" Pam and Ron, i miss seeing you guys...

Anonymous said...

Pastor Dan's sermon on forgiveness from about a year and a half ago involving David and Saul from II Samuel still resonates with me to this day and has helped me get over things that I thought I might never overcome. I'll definitely keep lifting you guys up in prayer.

Anonymous said...

Bryan and Susan,

Pam reads your blog daily and tells me the summary. We pray for you and Susan. My eyes well up in tears whenever I think of your situation and as in all other sad situations - there is no way for anyone to say the right thing so I only mention that you have a lot of people thinking of your family mostly because Susan and you are such wonderful people. I say that sincerely. I believe there is no point of trying to make sense of this situation because unfortunately through the "randomness" of our world that God created after Adam and Eve choose their and our paths, your family "drew a terrible hand" at this point in life. My suggestion and hope is that you find every ounce of strength in your bodies to prevail so when this episode (which will be small in comparison to eternal life) is completed, you and Susan will look back and say you did absolutely everything within your power (and you feel satisfied that you did) to deal with this in the way that God and all of the people who love you would want you to. Good luck in drawing strength and hang in there, you are more powerful in spirit than you realize.

Pam and Ron Figoras

Carole Turner said...

I pray, I tell others to pray and I will continue to do so.

C.S. Lewis said that forgivness is not wishing harm on the person who did harm. That is a tall order but it helped me see more clealy just what constituted forgiveness and how to better walk in it. For me the key is "walk" in it. Some times it is a daily thing, sometimes a minute by minute thing. Some days we can only say "help" BUT God hears you. He hears Susan, He hears Ali. You will make it through. His grace is suficient.

Anonymous said...

Hey you know I am a man of a few words so I dont know really what to say or where to start. Emily has been filling me in on what is going on daily. I am amazed at your faith, patience and thankful for your honesty. Every time I look at Scout, I cant imagine the hurt and pain you guys are experiencing. I will continue to pray for all of you. You guys are in my thoughts daily.

Trent Edwards

Anonymous said...

Dear Bryon and Susan,
You are amazing! I say this because I admire you for even trying to forgive. The word picture says it all . . . forgiveness is a process; some sins are easy to forgive, others take a long time. You are doing everything right by concentrating on Ali and focusing on her well being. The Holy Spirit will do the rest. I miss you so much, and I wish I could give you a hug; but until that time, I'll hug you in my heart, and continue to pray for you and Ali.

Bryonm said...

we miss you, too, joycie...