Wednesday, May 06, 2015

Analysis of a Sweaty Selfie

I’d like to say that this is the last selfie I’ll ever take but that’s probably a lie. I never intended to take a mirror shot selfie, but as I stood in front of the mirror after my ritual three mile run earlier this week, I noticed something I never took the time to analyze before. My shirt, of course, was sweaty. But the sweat was not evenly distributed.

There were dry spots and wet spots. High spots and low spots. One thing we all learned in elementary school science is that water seeks the lowest level. Water runs down mountainsides into rivers in low lying valleys below. My sweaty shirt is the perfect scientific model proving this theory.

Refer to the above picture for visual reference:
  1. Dry pectoral. Clearly not the most defined pectoral ever photographed, but definitely a high spot on my anatomy. 
  2. Dry bicep. These are worked regularly. Naturally blessed with well-developed biceps, fast results are realized with a little work. 
  3. The paunch: also dry. This area has grown in direct proportion to age and metabolism rate. This is the largest dry spot on the upper body. 

Ideally, the highest and driest spot on the t-shirt would be area one, and the shirt would hang straight down from the pectoral area over a flat abdomen area. But this isn’t the ideal situation. This is real life.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

When I look at this visual reference exactly four words come to mind, “God broke the Mold”.

It’s obvious the sweat was incapable of evenly distributing throughout your physique due to the enlarged mass of your biceps. Due to its relative size, your biceps acts as a barrier, therefore, sweat is unable to disburse uniformly. There is nothing you could have done differently.

I think we can all agree that area #2 is envied by many, if not everyone, including myself.