Last week Ali was declared legally blind.
Ali's optometrist says that Ali has mild optic atrophy. The doctor arrived at this conclusion using equipment that revealed that Ali has a pale optic nerve. Like most normal people, I don't really understand what this means so I have to Google things on the Internet to become somewhat knowledgeable about this stuff. Apparently, it's not the end of the world. In fact, the doctor said that most of the time, this isn't picked up on until a kid is eight to ten years old and has some trouble in school. Knowing this early will permit us to begin teaching her early to maximize the vision she has. I take some comfort in knowing that for the past twenty years, I drove among many who were legally blind yet issued a driver's license in South Florida.
Damage from shaken baby syndrome is far reaching. Every single day I think about what happened to Ali and I'm moved with emotion that I have difficulty processing. It's not fair. Ali's just a baby. I feel like I should be more grown up about this, but with Ali being hurt, Susan and I having to move over three thousand miles, leaving my friends in Florida, and watching my family get separated, Ive been reduced to tears and disbelief and often questioning God. I've said it before: I don't have enough of a theological grip on the way things work to answer all the questions that come to mind. This is not the life I picked.
But, then, we don't get to pick, do we? We like to think we're in charge of our destinies, but are we? The bottom line is I've given my life away. When I trusted Christ with my life, future and eternity, I gave it all to Him. So I know He'll strengthen me and give me the wisdom I need to live it honorably before Him.
So many lives around us have been changed by what's happened to Ali. And I don't expect that the impact her little life has had is in vain. Diagnosis or no diagnosis, this is the beginning of an amazing story with Ali as the lead character.