Saturday, September 30, 2006

New Air-Travel Guidelines

The Onion
Friday, September 29, 2006

U.S. airlines are now allowing small quantities of fluids onto airplanes. What do you think?

Young Woman
Elaine Siegel,
Sales Representative
"Thank God. I don't think I'd be able to make one more flight from New York to Chicago with a mouthful of shampoo."

Young Man
Alex Hunter,
"The ban was a necessary precaution. We have to be willing to make these kinds of sacrifices if we're going to prevent scientifically impossible terrorist attacks."

Black Man
Ed Johansen,
Systems Analyst
"By giving passengers renewed access to these gels, lotions, and shampoos, we run the risk of creating a very dangerous and highly evasive super-slippery terrorist able to avoid all manners of restraint."

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