Auditory Perfection

Today Ali had her ears tested. This was our second attempt to have her checked. Our first attempt was aborted after Ali would not settle down enough to be checked. After spending six weeks in the hospital, anyone entering the room wearing one of those white doctor coats sets Ali off. She can spot one a mile away. Our ear doc didn't know that, of course. But she does now.

Stethoscopes also freak her out. Our nurses have to smuggle theirs into the house in something harmless looking - like a hollowed out teddy bear.

So today we showed up at the office and it was obvious that hey choreographed Ali's entire visit. The doctor was very low-key as she welcomed us and was incognito in her civilian clothes. The doc put a comfortable chair in the sound proof room for me to get Ali comfortable and as close to falling asleep as possible.

Ali has to be absolutely quiet - the whole room has to be absolutely quiet for at least thirty seconds before the test is given.

The room was dead quiet. Ali was on the verge of nodding off when the doc sneaked little earphones into her ears. She - the doc - was just about to start the test when we heard "put-put-put" as Ali broke wind.

"That wasn't me," I said.

We all started shaking trying to choke down laughter. And then the room filled with her smell.

It took us another few minutes to get Ali back into the test zone. She was being good - it was the grown-ups that were uncooperative. Including the doctor.

Ali's hearing is perfect.

Her plumbing seems to be working good, too.