Wednesday, August 06, 2014

Happy Birthday, Baby

Is this cheating? I posted the following in honor of the Charming and Beautiful Susan's birthday. But as I read through it, I don't think I can top it.

Truly, this is the most amazing woman I know. She is the greatest mom, wife, and friend in the world. She has rescued me in so many ways.

 three-of-us
"Your soul-mate doesn't exist. You don't find a soul-mate. You become soul-mates." That's the opinion of the Charming and Beautiful Susan, the woman that has become my soul-mate. Tomorrow, August 7, is her birthday.

I've known this woman for most of my life. More than half of it, anyway. We married before I was 21 years old. I don't know how to properly express how blessed I am to be with this woman.
She's a heroic woman. All she does is take care of other people. She takes care of Allie, our handicapped daughter. She takes care of me. She takes care of her sister who is losing her sight and can no longer drive. That's Susan's life. She constantly gives herself away and pours herself out for others. Susan is too busy to complain, and she wouldn't anyway. She's the most fulfilled person I know.

If you've followed our story at all [learn more here], you know that Susan has a huge heart. When Allie was hospitalized, Susan had one mission: take care of this little girl no matter what the cost. There was no discussion. We both knew that we were going to do whatever it took to take care of Allie. We were going to bring her home. It was my intention when I first got onto a plane headed for San Francisco where Allie was so tragically hurt, that I was going to bring Allie back home to Florida. Susan had boarded a plane with her one carry-on to join me a week later with the intention of bringing Allie home. We didn't know that it would be two years before the state of California would legally release Allie into our care and come back to Florida.

While we were figuring out our new life with a severely handicapped child on our hands, I was not a fun person to be around. I allowed myself to become bitter, biting. I was cynical and condescending in conversations, always taking the opposite side in an argument. I found it difficult to value others.
But the Charming and Beautiful Susan exudes grace. I can't think of anyone I'd rather partner up with and do this life with. God has used her in my life to tame me and shape me into a human being.
There's a reason we take vows when we get married. There has to be something stronger than mere words and romantic feelings. They both fade shortly after the wedding. Life is hard. For some reason we think a day will arrive when we get to coast. But that day never comes. But you can live wisely and satisfied with someone you can give yourself away to. That lightens the load, but nobody gets to live on Easy Street. That's why God sends each of us a helper - someone to do life with. You become soul-mates with that person.

I can't imagine doing life with anyone other than Susan.

Happy birthday, baby. I'm going to do my best to make this the best year you've ever had.

Tuesday, August 05, 2014

Book Review: Healing is a Choice: Ten Decisions That will Transform Your Life & Ten Lies That Can Prevent You from Making Them

Author: Stephen Arterburn
Nashville, Thomas Nelson, 2011
Number of pages: 480

“Creator of the universe is also the Healer of His universe. He is the ultimate decision maker as to how, when, and from whom we receive healing.” In the introduction of this book, author Stephen Arterburn gets right to the point with both the topic of the book and the source of the healing we are all so desparately in need of.

Arterburn points out that just like all the properties for physical healing are built into us by our Creator, so are the properties for the healing of our souls. But the choice to engage with the healing is our decision and often not an easy one to make.

No one can make you get healed. You have to want it. The fact that you're going to have to learn how to make it happen does not put healing out of reach. God will partner with you to see it through.

Arterburn looks back over the years he went through after a painful divorce to help the reader understand that his experience isn't simply academic. His experience is real and raw. He walked through a “decade of pain, insecurity, and loss.” It's from this process that he wants to help others find a future.

What Arterburn learned about healing from the pain of divorce was that he had to make a choice to forgive. The choice to forgive is not limited to a one time event, the choice to forgive presents itself over and over again.

Healing happens as a series of choices and that's how Arterburn lays out his book.
  1. The choice to connect your life
  2. The choice to feel your life
  3. The choice to investigate your life in search of truth
  4. The choice to heal your future
  5. The choice to help your life
  6. The choice to embrace your life
  7. The choice to forgive
  8. The choice to risk your life
  9. The choice to serve
  10. The choice to persevere
Each of the ten chapters names a lie determined to sabotage the work that needs to be done in your life and your relationships. Each chapter includes workbook questions to get you thinking about, writing down, and“[moving] you along [to] help you experience whatever healing God allows for your life.”

Throughout the book, Arterburn makes a strong argument without arguing. He is both a teacher and a cheerleader helping the reader gain perspective and see new possibilities for his life.

While Arterburn emphasizes our spiritual building blocks, solutions he offers are accessible, applicable, and bring value to repaired connections and hope for a future of sustainable relationships.

Personally, choosing to live in community has been the biggest challenge for me and the most important takeaway from the book. I need to quit thinking I can muscle my way through the challenges and roadblocks life throws up on my own. Seek to connect rather than correct. But, for a non-diplomatic, fight-about-the-details guy like me, that's a massive effort.

Reading and reviewing this book has been timely for me. It comes during a season when events in both my spiritual and professional life have inflicted personal pain and disappointment on me as well as many I am in community with. I definitely recommend this book for anyone in a similar season or someone carrying the heavy burdens of past broken relationships. I think that covers just about all of us. Get the book.