Monday, September 17, 2012
The doctor started Allie on a course of meds that won't produce any relief for Allie for two more weeks. The upside is that after a year on the meds, her symptoms should be totally gone. The downside for Allie is that she will still have daily stomach pain until the meds begin working in about ten more days.
Allie's body works on a crazy cycle. Every morning starts painfully and is pretty rough, but by 9:00 am, bouts of pain subside and Allie's mood improves dramatically. She usually has a great day. What a trooper! For most people, when the day starts badly, that sets the mood for the entire day. Not so for Allie. She is naturally happy and personable. Pain interrupts that but happy is her default setting.
She challenges me in so many ways. Seeing her cry and in pain makes me miserable. It's so hard to watch a child suffer and be powerless. Nothing is more frustrating than feeling so sorry for a child going through this, feeling sorry for yourself for being forced to endure the misery of a child, and feeling the guilt that comes from feeling sorry for yourself when it's the child that's suffering the most. When I find a way to overcome this useless way of expending emotional energy, I'll let you know.