Sunday, September 30, 2007

Sleepless...

Sleeplessness is not unusual. Many people I talk to wake up at 3:00am sharp with the things that weigh them down. Financial struggles and family worries top the list of things that cause us to lose valuable sleep at night. Here's the list of worries that robbed me of sleep last night:
  • I wonder if Ali will have a good day or bad day. What is life going to be like for her?
  • My brother in Portland called me yesterday and told me Charity bounced. She got on a bus and isn't really saying where she's going or what her plans are.
  • I've gotten myself into a stupid blog-war with some cat that's bent on bringing Pastor Bob down and I'm rehearsing arguments, pretty silly ones really, in my head. The book of Proverbs 15:2 says, "the tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness." I think of what I want to say and then I worry that I'm the 'fool' and not the 'wise.'
  • I think about my new job; am I meeting expectations or falling short?
  • Is my son going to be okay without me looking over his shoulder? Have I done all I can as a dad to prepare him for life?
I share these frets not because I think you can fix them or have the answers. You don't. I don't. Thats why I worry. And you have your own list. Some of your items are things I wouldn't worry about and some of your problems I'm definitely glad are burdens I don't carry.

What do I do with my worry? Sometimes I think I should just get up and pray, but then I start to worry that I won't get enough sleep and that makes me not sleep more still. So what works best?

For me, I get up, I brew a cup of chamomile tea, and I write in my journal all the issues swimming around in my brain and I bring them before the Lord. I wish I did this every time. I don't. But when I do, I'm glad I did. What happens is the Lord visits me with a peace that goes beyond my worries and surpasses my understanding and usually, I'm ready to go back to bed in just a little while. I set the alarm so I wake up an hour later than usual and wake up refreshed.

You and me have plenty to worry about. There's a never ending supply of junk to think about that we have little or no control over. This stuff springs up in our lives and becomes the perfect motivation to bring petitions to the Lord. So what keeps me from doing just that more often?

10 comments:

luann said...

Thank you for sharing this. It's comforting to know I'm not the only worrier. :)
I'll be praying for Charity.

MWest said...

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."

You're in good company. I think the key is to just keep trying.
Gotcha in prayer.
Mike & Mary West

MWest said...

FYI... I just checked out that "cats' blog. You're playing right into his hands. My advice for what it's worth...ignore him and he will go away and you will sleep better. :) He is what I would call a "crusader" and has deputized himself as one whose responsibility is to point out what everyone else is doing wrong. It's not worth your energy. You can't convince him or change him. Let it go...

Githurai Kenya said...

Dude, I love and respect you. I really like that you are vulnerable. That is very manly. Having said that, never ever admit that you drink chamomile tea. There are some things we men do that are not discussed in public forums.
Regardless, we are praying!

Bryon Mondok said...

mike: you're right. but i like to be right. but you're right.

ed: i'll chamomile up one side of your head and back down the other...

michele purnell said...

Bryon--Funny you should metion worrying, God just recently spoke to me about that very subject. I like to try and justify my worries. I mean who wouldn’t worry if they had my problems. But, God has revealed to me that worrying is in fact a sin. He commands us several times in the New Testament "Do Not Worry" (Matt 6 & Luke 12). He tells us to give our worries to Him, and scripture says that he will handle them. In fact, God can not handle them until we give them to Him. Even though God has revealed all this to me, I still want to keep worrying. I have to pray for God to help me give Him my worries. I am definitely weak in that area.

rod pearcy said...

Brian,
You have stated your case well with the "cat", but I agree with Mike.
He will never change. He will have others question him and he can spend all of his time defending his point.
You on the other hand, have tons of great work ahead of you.
Thanks for defending Bob.
Rod

Bryon Mondok said...

Rod:
I agree with you and Mike. And now he's gone after Kelly, too.

Somebody's gonna be running around without an ear before this is over I fear...

Anonymous said...

Bryon,
Thanks for being led to write this. I found it when I got up at 3:30 and could not sleep. As a calvary pastor I'm supposed to remember that God wants me to hand it all over to Him. I just want you to know that I was ministered to by this blog and let you know that I am thankfull for you and your story. I am praying for your family. Be blessed my cyber friend!

revolution said...

It is especially hard to argue with people who treat the Bible like a mound of snowballs, throwing verses at you willy nilly. I'm always dissappointed when I find that people who have a really good head-knowledge of the Bible choose to use it this way.

When people start "throwing verses" at me, I usually shut down.
I don't play that game. I'm not a "verse-thrower."