Friday, March 31, 2006

Cane and dis-Able

I found this article online about senior citizens being trained to defend against attackers with a cane. I like to call it "cane-fu". Check it out:

A swift cane to the groin keeps thugs at bay.

A couple dozen residents of the Seville retirement home in Orem gathered for an hour-long "Combat Cane" self-defense class Saturday afternoon.

Any senior with a cane also has a weapon against thugs and muggers, said Rod Carmichael, physical therapist and self-defense enthusiast who teaches Combat Cane classes across Utah.

The key is to strike decisively the first time.

A sturdy cane with a shepherd's crook is preferable because it can be used not only to strike but to grapple, pulling a neck or a knee to throw an assailant off balance, he said.

"I can use any part of this for self defense," he said, holding up such a cane. "If you have a straight cane, a staff, you have two poking ends. If it's got a flat end, it's a striking cane."

Over and over, Carmichael told those gathered that a strike to the groin is their best defense.

"There are vital targets on the body that are easily damaged," he said. "The groin is one. Strike the groin whenever you can with whatever you can -- your cane, your knee or your fist."

"What is another delicate area?" Carmichael called out to the audience.

"Eyes," shouted a resident without missing a beat.

"Very good," said Carmichael. "Martial artist Bruce Lee was once asked if he could only do one punch in a fight, what would it be, and he said poke out the eyes."

Read more about "cane mutilation" here

Thursday, March 30, 2006

DaVinci a la mode

Why is everyone getting their nickers into such a twist over Dan Brown? When hasn't the right marketing guru been able to make a pile of cash from an attempt to debunk Scripture and the person of Jesus Christ? Everyone from Josh McDowell to the Vatican are blowing a gasket over this thing. Didn't Jesus say that the "gates of hell will not prevail" against the church? Get a grip. Everyone I'm talking to is acting like Y2K is about to happen and all the computers in the universe are about to crash.

Before a high-powered cash generating publishing house decided they might make money on Dan Brown, here are some examples of pre-Davinci Code Dan Brown drivel:

187 Men to Avoid written under the psuedonym Danielle Brown (stop laughing. I am NOT kidding), The Bald Book, written with his wife Blythe, and songs like SynthAnimals. You can click here to listen (if you don't have anything else going on - which you must not because you're reading this blog) to his music.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Northern Uganda

When I worked in South Sudan, we also traveled and worked in Northern Uganda. We dealt with victimes and orphans of the Lord's Resistance Army.

Invisible Children is a movement bringing awareness of the Night Commuters plight. Our friend Wes Bentley of Far Reaching Ministries has built a compound to provide a safe haven for Night Commuters.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Sex Pistols Dis Rock Hall of Fame

picture Ah. The comfort of consistency. The Sex Pistols have never felt the need to lick the boots of movers and shakers in any segment of culture, counter-culture, or even the rock-n-roll industry.

Last week, the Sex Pistols were inducted into the Rock-n-Roll hall of fame along with Blondie, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Black Sabbath, and Miles Davis.

The Sex Pistols out-Ozzied Ozzy Osbourne by holding up a middle finger to the Rock-n-Roll hall of fame. Johnny Rotten posted an open letter I decided not to post because there's a cuss-word or two in it and this is a family-friendly blog. Here's a link to the non-family-friendly note. Be warned, ye who are squeamish.

Senior citizen punks. How nice.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Peace River Trip

This group of motley characters braved the black waters of the Peace River. Air-Marcos
Art Perry
Bob Eastling tossing the disc
Bob, Dave, and Bryon reflecting deeply.

Pastor Dan brings the Word.

Pastor Dan on post.


Ira bustin' open a log
Norm finds about six snakes in that old cypress...
The most popular camper: The Pig
Chris carves the Pig. Our mouths water so much our salivary glands hurt.
Dan wades in.

This snake dwells in the tree Norm climbed.
Sharks teeth. We dug quite a few of these out of the Peace River, a fresh water flow. How did they get there? We are over a hundred miles from any Florida beach.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Book Review: Recapture the Wonder by Ravi Zacharias

I just feel smart when I read anything by Ravi. I listen to his podcast a couple of times a week, too. Than man always gives you something to chew on.

I just finished reading '>Recapture the Wonder. When we were children, so many things made us say, "Wow! What makes that happen?" But as we grow older and smarter and more and more cynical, the things that "wow" us become more scarce.

Zacharias challenges the believer to develop an increased appetite for the things of God and His Word. "Wonder enriches you when you take the time to reflect and to ponder the greatness of our faith in Jesus Christ," writes Zacharias.

Here are some other great quotes from the book:

"Thinking is a dying disciplines in a society that throbs with activity."

"If a follower of Jesus does not mature in his or her reading, the church could end up running the biggest nursery in the world."

"The one possessing the wealth must know its real value if the possession is to bring wonder."

"Physicality and sensuality are not one and the same, and when they are made identical, the reduction is fatal to the senses."

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Calvary Word Podcast

Pastor Dan, the senior pastor of Calvary Chapel Jupiter, now has a weekly podcast. Click here to subscribe. It works best if you've downloaded iTunes to your computer.

Monday, March 13, 2006

In The News: Pamela Anderson Declares Chicken are Top Heavy

Pin-up girl Pamela Anderson has paired up with PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) to knock KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) around for poor their treatment of chickens. The following is a quote from an article on

"At present, of course, it's the chickens that concern Pam. Last year she complained that modern birds are "so top-heavy that they can barely walk." The irony thickens: Anderson's own breast implants have left her artificially top-heavy as well."

What's so wrong with the Colonel cashing in on the artificially enlarged breasts of his birds? Everyone knows that Pam's made a boat load of bucks from her silicone filled bouys.

Doesn't her partner PETA realize that Pamela sports leather from head to toe and that her former beau, Kid Rock, decks himself out in fur? Real fur. I think they do but they really don't care.

Do any of them care? How can we take them seriously?

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Portrait of a Real Man

"You know that in this world kings are tyrants, and officials lord it over the people beneath them. But among you it should be quite different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must become your slave. For even I, the Son of Man, came here not to be served but to serve others, and to give my life as a ransom for many."...Matthew 20:25-28

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

I Can't Drive 55

A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

"Amazing!" he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal to the metal even more. He looked in his rear view mirror and saw a Florida Highway Patrolcar behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

"I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderlygentleman as he floored it to 100mph, then 110, then 120mph.

Then he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!"

He pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the Trooper. The cop pulled in behind him and walked up to the 'Vette. The policeman looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The old man looked very seriously at the Trooper and said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a nice day, Sir," said the cop, tipping his hat.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Bush Fails to Prevent East Coast Blizzard

Minorities Hit Hardest
by Brian Williams
NBC 02/12/06

As President Bush and his staff cowered in the White House, the snow continued to pile up on the many poor and African American victims who could not afford to get out of town or to safety in Florida.

Crucial supplies of blankets, hot cocoa, popcorn and dark rum, so essential to surviving the stress of any major snowstorm, lay in stores undelivered.

"Where is the government? I need my sidewalk shoveled so I can get out to buy my danged lottery tickets!" said one D.C. resident from his living room.

"Why are we wasting money in Iraq when we could be spending it here on me?"

Progressive blogs blasted the President for his inaction. "We find the timing terribly suspicious, just as the Domestic Spying hearings kick into high gear, what happens? A major northeast Blizzard. Why now?" wrote one blogger.

Hearings into the blizzard's effect on hearings are almost a certainty.

Howard Dean has suggested he will call for an investigation once his new medications kick in, and John Kerry took a break from the sporting activities of the glamorous super-rich in some exotic locale (random choice: Ice Sailing in Finland) to call for new legislation outlawing snowstorms.

"The Republican Congress has dropped the ball once again. I have always been a staunch supporter of anti-snow legislation, exceptfor certain locations where I ski. Snow has no business on our roads and the President and Congress knows that."

Calls for impeachment over "SnowGate" as some are calling it already are mounting as deeply as the snow itself, and what will be discovered underneath will prove to have a truly chilling effect on the Republicans, as the inevitable thaw proceeds.

Or something like that.

More breaking news...

Al Sharpton wants an investigation as to why snow is ALWAYS white.

He further commented, "Cheney has stock in Tru-Value Hardware. Do you have any idea how many SNOW SHOVELS they sold today to the unsuspecting consumer?"

Friday, March 03, 2006

In The News: Wiping Israel off the Map

February 27th, TIME Magazine ran this interview with Ali Larijani, the top nuclear negotiator for Iran. Larijani was asked by TIME about his country's policy about "wiping Israel off the map."

Larijani went on to explain that this is a mis-understanding of his contry's policy toward Israel.

Having spent some time in foriegn countries including Muslim countries, I personally understand that sometimes words and ideas are not accurately conveyed from English to other languages or vice-versa. The West just mis-understands Middle Eastern hospitality. The idea of "wiping Israel off the map" could mean a couple of things in polite, Middle Eastern culture:

1) It could mean that the area of the map where Israel is displayed needs to be wiped off. The map is a little soiled and with the application of Pledge and some elbow grease, the map could be cleaned.


2) It could mean that Israel needs to be politely shown off the map as in, "Sir, the door is this way. Can I call you a cab on your way out?"

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Important Statistics

The follwing was emailed to me from my friend, Chan:

(A) The number of Doctors in the U.S. is 700,000
(B) Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year are 120,000
(C) The percentage of accidental deaths by physicians is 17.14%

Statistics courtesy of the U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services
(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000 (yes that's 80 million)
(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500
(C) The percentage of accidental deaths by gun owners is 0.001875%
Statistics courtesy of the FBI

So statistically, Doctors are approximately 9,000 times MORE dangerous than gun owners. Remember, GUNS don't kill people, DOCTORS do!


Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!

Out of concern for the public at large, I have withheld statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention...